


Serendipity (Until it wasn’t)

by ohmythief



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Time Skips, Trans Female Character, Transitioning, Transphobia, sorta - Freeform, the transphobia is not that scary but its still there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmythief/pseuds/ohmythief
Summary: A different tale about Hilda’s journey, with 12 loops around the sun and 1 jump to the moon... and back.In which everything is the same as it happened, but our main girl is trans and she does find N.
Relationships: N | Natural Harmonia Gropius/Touko | Hilda
Kudos: 42





	Serendipity (Until it wasn’t)

1

Her mother has always wanted a boy. She knew this very well, and she learned this on her own.

Once when she was a little sprout, at the age of four she asked her “Mom, what would my name be if I were a girl?”

She stared back at her, her hands still busy rinsing the dishes. A lazy smile was on her face as she answered truthfully “I didn’t have one. I always knew you were going to be a handsome boy”

Hilbert looked at her mom and tilted her head. She had begun humming a melancholy song, lost in thought as her eyes fell again on the dish washer. Instead of asking about it, she grabbed the crayons and resumed her drawing.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


2

They have always wanted a pokemon. Ever since they were little, she remembers clearly. 

Cheren was the restless one, stubborn and  _ a big nerd. _ She kept calling him that since he always had his nose deep in a book about pokemon this and pokemon that. Sometimes, they couldn’t even play the three of them together because he kept assuming that they had to study more if they really wanted to be acknowledged for becoming pokemon trainers.

He explained with a frown, “Pokemon trainers are chosen to fill a Pokedex. It’s a really important tool to be strong because it tells you a whole bunch about pokemon, always giving you an advantage”

Hilbert blew a raspberry towards him, making their blonde friend giggle “C’mon, Cheren! Stop being a nerd and play with us”

She remembered Cheren looking at them with annoyance, rolling his eyes but joining them nevertheless.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Bianca was crying, her dress drenched and covered in mud. Beside where she sat, a pair of glasses was oddly twisted surrounded by broken glass. Hilbert tried to grab them but flinched when a sharp pain stung her fingers. She studied the new cut on her hand. Clenching her fist to ease the pain a little, she tried to calm Bianca to no avail.

Behind her, Cheren spoke bitterly “This is why girls aren’t supposed to play in the mud. They are so clumsy”

Hilbert turned around immediately and grabbed her friend by the collar of his t shirt. She glared at him, making him flinch with the harsh tone of her voice “You could have slipped in the mud too! Bianca being a girl has nothing to do with it!”

Cheren scoffed, his hands trying to shrug off Hilbert’s tight grip. He succeeded, dropping himself on the ground and watching his brunette friend warily. Which could have been menacing, except for the fact that the missing eye wear made his eyes smaller while he strained them to properly see. His lip quivered, but he managed to stand up and run away before the first tear could come out.  _ Boys don’t cry,  _ Hilbert remembered he once said.

She finally stared down at Bianca, who covered her face with her tiny hands. The blonde was still crying, and Hilbert was about to say something when a shrilling shout of Bianca’s name joined her sobs and sniffs “Bianca!”

The blonde child shivered and she shrunk at the sound of her own name hanging in the air. Hilbert recognized the voice and paled at the sight of Bianca’s father with a fist waving in the air and his head popping red as a cheri berry by how angry he was.

He picked her up and grunted out a warning “You better find other ways to play together or else, Hilbert. Bianca is a  _ girl, _ she can’t keep up with you” and left.

Hilbert bit her lower lip and felt hot tears coming out of her eyes. She frowned at the broken glasses on the ground like they insulted her, which might have. Although she still felt guilty for gnashing out at Cheren, or putting Bianca into trouble; she cursed at the winds in frustration and ran off somewhere.

She didn’t remember where, but her tiny legs grew tired while she kept running away and away, far from home. Farther, as much as she could until the moon greeted her weary eyes cornered by dry tears.

Hilbert noticed the next town in the distance, but her legs gave out beneath her. She struggled to stand, her tiny body swallowed by the tall grass as she lied on her back and watched the night sky. She should be scared about wild pokemon coming out to chase her, but she didn’t want to move yet. Instead, she closed her eyes and with fistfuls of grass she began crying once more. Until she noticed that she wasn´t alone anymore.

She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands and tried to stay as quiet as possible. Again on her feet, she rustled around trying to escape the tall grass and found herself stumbling against something.

Before her, a pink pokemon watched her with curiosity. It cooed, lowering itself and reaching out to the sitting child. Hilbert was stunned in her spot, afraid to move or scream with the threat that there was a wild pokemon and she had no pokemon nor someone to help her, and many other pokemon ready to jump at her as well.

She involuntarily let out a sob, making the pokemon’s ears twitch. It reacted immediately and Hilbert flinched, closing her eyes and sheltering herself behind her arms. She was expecting the pokemon to slash or tackle her but instead, a warm paw graced her cheek. 

Hilbert’s eyes fluttered open and she noticed the pink pokemon rubbing her cheek tenderly, its eyes soft as it wiped away the child’s tears. 

The child hiccupped, and whispered a weak “Thank you”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


3

A few years later, she broke her mother’s heart. For a way to put it simply, given that she had decided to come out before her. The silverware left forgotten on the table as she cried.

Hilda understood, as she expected this. They didn’t speak for a whole week, aside from helping each other in chores and little nothings. 

What she did not expect, was her mother to knock at her door and rush to hug her once she was let inside Hilda’s room. They didn’t say anything, not a single word as they cried in the embrace.

The only thing Hilda’s mother said was “I will always love you, my baby boy” which fell bitter on Hilda’s ears. But she didn’t correct her, not today.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


4

With a couple of years piling up after the celebration of beginning her journey of self-acceptance, she was faced with a single question for the pokemon trainer’s admission test.

_ Are you a boy or a girl? _

A cup was gingerly set before her, with steaming tea in it made by her mother. When Hilda looked up, her mother smiled at the evident line of text that she was stuck with. She kissed her forehead and grabbed the pen, before filling in the correct box in the paper.

Hilda’s cheeks hurt after a while for retaining the widest smile she has ever had for so many days.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


5

Sometimes, Bianca visited and tried to sneak in her bedroom with dresses and skirts. She left those on Hilda’s bed and smiled at her friend. 

The first time, Hilda arched an eyebrow at this and wordlessly asked what this was about. Which Bianca answered “I thought you might want to wear them? I don’t see your mom letting you have them, so I thought-“

Hilda laughed, loud and unforgiving. Bianca stared at her with confusion written all over her face. Before she could ask what is wrong, Cheren startled her by letting himself in the bedroom and speaking with annoyance “Nobody likes wearing skirts, they are a nuisance”

The brunette kept laughing all afternoon watching her two best friends argue about the reliability of wearing skirts and whatnot. She wiped away her tears of joy as the scene before her warmed her heart.

Because it might have been tough on the very beginning, and even if there were people in her home town that frowned at her (including Bianca’s parents), she would always find comfort on the support of her friends.

And her mother, who finally gave up on making her daughter wear one of her cute old dresses.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


6

“Cheren, is not rocket science!” Hilda groaned, her eyes set on the gift box before the trio. Her hands twitched in anticipation, but Cheren was busy reminding them that pokemon battles were more brain than brawn. Which honestly, Hilda couldn’t care less.

“Fine, but I warned you. This choice is very important, I want to pick the partner that will help me become the champion” he crossed his arms not before leaving the box on the table without the lid.

Both girls stared at him expectantly, their eyes side eyeing the three poke balls.

He found strange that they haven’t jump yet to grab one of them and frowned at the two of them “What?”

Bianca pouted and Hilda rolled her eyes while answering “Are you not going to pick first, or what?  _ Champion _ ”

He blushed and muttered, “Girls first”

The brunette narrowed an eyebrow at his implication, but her interest was elsewhere. She could argue with Cheren later. Right now, her fingers twitched as she ran for the box. Behind her, Bianca jumped on her spot with glee “Whatever, nerd”

She looked at the three pokeballs and recalled the names of the pokemon before her. Hilda smiled, her choice already settled. Ever since the letter of acceptance reached her house, she has already decided who will be her partner.

The brunette picked the correct one and freed the pokemon in a flash of light, its form revealed as it hopped in place studying the place around it “I choose you, Tepig”

Cheren clicked his tongue and went to grab the next pokeball, “Then I choose Oshawott”

Hilda snorted as the water pokemon joined them, fidgeting with its shell and looking at them bashful “You only wanted me to pick first to take the advantage”

“What?! No! Oshawott is a very reliable pokemon, it has a really good-“

Bianca interrupted him as the last pokemon was freed from its concealment “Then, we will be best friends. Nice to meet you, Snivy!” she kneeled beside the grass pokemon and it took a step back, its eyes watching its new trainer warily. 

Hilda ignored their exchange, instead focused on proving Cheren that his choice was definitely made on the spot “Girls first, huh? You cheater!” 

There was no argument convenient to Cheren’s side. Hilda stood her ground, being smug when she won against both of them on their first battle. 

The truth is she chose Tepig because she looked at its final evolution on one of Cheren’s books. She thought it looked strong, and very cool.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


7

He met this boy back in Accumula Town after some freaks interrupted their journey. His name was N, and it was the weirdest name she has heard in all her life. Which suited him nicely, because N was a weirdo.

He challenged her, and she won easily with the help of her starter. When the fight was over, her tepig stared back at her and she immediately kneeled to pet the pokemon “Good job, girl” 

The fire pokemon leaned against her hand, seemingly happy and making the tall boy’s eyes widen “Are you okay with this?”

Hilda stared up at him and was about to ask what was his deal, and what was he talking about when her tepig addressed N and cried out, like the pokemon was answering him. Hilda watched the exchange dumbfounded until the very end when the mysterious boy spoke about changing the world.

And she didn’t like any of it.

While her tepig strolled alongside her, she remembered that pokemon were the only creatures that wouldn’t judge or assume things of her. Not like humans do.

She wouldn’t stand or be silent watching those Plasma grunts take her joy.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


8

Everyone was an equal when it came to pokemon battles. She felt alive, marching her way through Unova and earning her fourth gym badge finally. She wore a big smile, until Bianca’s parent appeared out of nowhere and pulled the nasty card of accusing Hilda of being a bad example for his little girl. And she really wanted to argue and fight even with her teeth when Elesa came to save the day.

It would have been nice, if it weren’t for the time she spotted Bianca’s father looking between the gym leader and her like he wordlessly determined the differences between them. It felt bitter, that Elesa was the “real strong woman” that politely gave Bianca’s parent a piece of her mind. Nevertheless, he left them alone.

And sure, long after that she should be looking for the Plasma guys that suddenly started a ruckus in Nimbasa, and she was doing just that except that her mind wasn’t in it at the moment. She kicked a small rock out of her way, and stumbled upon someone. She began apologizing when she recognized the towering figure “Oh, you”

N’s eyes shone with a mix of curiosity and repressed emotions.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


9

Her Audino was picking berries with her Leavanny when she heard him before seeing him. She sighed, ready for another monologue about the bad deeds of people and the rights of pokemon. Which if she was to be honest, she agreed to some extent. She remembered snorting that time in Chargerstone Cage when N trash talked the Pokedex. She would never say this of course, but she also found the piece of tech a little off. 

In her mind, she imagined Cheren arguing in defense of the Pokedex and how it was the reason they have become pokemon trainers in the first place. So yes, she would never admit it that she might have been on the same boat with the Plasma King on this one, but she enjoyed Juniper’s face when N called her out for sending off living creatures in a gift box. 

She wasn’t surprised when he leaned down to address her pokemon instead “Hey, Audino. Would you tell me what kind of trainer Hilda is?”

The girl in question snorted loudly, and watched as her pokemon answered animatedly. She was curious about the whole exchange, even more when it extended for a few minutes. She walked closer to them, including her Leavanny that has joined the conversation after a while. When she was close enough to pet her pokemon, she was greeted with the sight of N actually smiling.

She will always deny this later, but Hilda could feel her skin burn all the way to her ears. Because yes… N was supposedly the bad guy, but the guy was good looking.  _ But he’s still a weirdo, so never mind developing a crush for the guy. _

“I see,” he said thoughtfully “Your pokemon love you, Hilda. When I started my journey, I didn’t expect to find people like you. It saddens me that the outcome will separate you both-“

“Then don’t do it” her heart leaped out of her chest while she watched N’s stunned expression. She wanted to reach him, grab his hand and lead him towards the good part of humanity. She didn’t, though.  _ But she really wanted to. _

N closed his eyes, turning around and sighed “I really do try to make my vision come true without force, but I have always been better speaking with pokemon. I really want you to understand the truth about pokemon battles, and how painful it is for them. Not everyone is as kind as your pokemon keep telling me you are”

She wouldn’t really call herself kind, nor a good person even. She was somewhat selfish, running around and relying on pokemon to fill a purpose or feel better with herself. His words moved her with curiosity though, “What did my pokemon tell you?”

He didn’t say.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


10

“To defeat me, you must become a hero as well!” he said as he left Dragonspiral Tower.

Sure, a legendary pokemon stood before her and she watched the whole scene in front seat. She should be overwhelmed by this fact, and also that Team Plasma was getting what they wanted. And she was, truly.

But her heart ached at the way N said  _ hero. _ Not heroine, and her mind kept teling her that this was so stupid to point out but this still pulled a few strings of her heart on the correct (or terribly wrong) places... Because he couldn’t care less, he was currently riding a legendary dragon and he encouraged Hilda to do the same because he believed they were equals. Well… once she actually finds the way to wake Zekrom herself, they might be. 

Aside from that, N believes the odds are even. She knows this.

She also learns amongst the whole ordeal while her Audino tugs at her elbow and signs something at her, that when N was leaving he was completely and utterly sad.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


11

Hilda was convinced that N didn’t want to win, in a way. He did want to protect pokemon, but he somehow expected Zekrom to appear even in the last second. And when it did happen, he didn’t rush. Instead, he waited for her to catch the legendary dragon that can oppose his own and went as far as healing Hilda’s pokemon. 

He once said she was kind, but it was the other way around. N’s heart was too soft, he could have taken advantage many times to win with whatever it takes. But he didn’t.

Her blue eyes were on him the entire time, even when Ghetsis called him good-for-nothing, useless, weak for losing against  _ an ordinary girl,  _ called him stupid “For a trainer like  _ you _ to be the chosen one, how pathetic”

Hilda snapped out of it and finally glared down at Ghetsis. But she decided not to waste her time with the demon in front of her, instead refocusing on reaching N who kept looking at his feet and clenching his fists.

Ghetsis laughed, cold and dry “There is no need. He’s nothing more than a freak without a human heart. Do you think you’re going to get through to a warped person like that?!”

Hilda decided that her punches could answer him better that her own words, but she was stopped by the shadow trio.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I wanted to confront you hero-to-hero. I needed that more than anything” he kept saying about how he never understood pokemon, even less people “There is no way I could measure up to you, when you had met so many pokemon and were surrounded by friends”

She wanted to tell him that it’s not that easy. It never is. But N slipped from out of her fingers. He fled, smiling… but sadness was plainly on his face. She didn’t need her Audino to tell her.

She cried that day, her heart broken for reasons she didn’t understand yet.

And the next month, Cheren knocked at her door to give her news about starting his training to become a gym leader. But she wasn’t there.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


12

She was looking at the imposing monument of Anistar City when a furisode trainer called her, and she swore softly.  _ Because if this is another bohemian artist asking for a tip I’m gonna- _

“Hello miss, do you want to know the memory of one of your pokemon? I can read pokemon memories!” she grinned and waved at her “People call me the memory girl”

Well, Hilda knows about people that can listen and talk to pokemon. Damn, she even heard about people that can heal pokemon back in Johto. But a memory girl was… something completely new and a bit sketchy. She would probably make something up on the spot and bill her. 

She shrugged and let one of her pokemon out. Emboar cried out, amusing a couple of passersby with the sight of a pokemon not quite common in the Kalos region. This also helped her warm up, given the cold temperatures of the city. So, a double win. Kind of.

The furisode girl clapped her hands and walked towards Emboar. She closed her eyes and hummed for a few seconds before speaking “Your pokemon has helped you through a lot, hasn’t it?” she smiled, her eyes now open “Emboar was by your side when you faced together Zekrom. The pokemon definitely remembers that it felt emotional”

Hilda stopped burrowing her gloved hands inside her jacket and quickly released all of her pokemon, asking for the memory girl to do the same with each. She giggled, happy to comply and began telling her about things that a fraud wouldn’t guess… So she actually shut her up, and felt heavy with each reminder that was so buried beneath her. She grew nostalgic herself, because she has forgotten the time she found her Galvantula back in Chargerstone Cave, or watching her Leavanny evolve by friendship between the gym challenge in Driftveil, and so on…

Until the furisode girl gasped, blushing while Audino leaned towards her hand “This one seems to know you the most, I recall”

Hilda furrowed her brow “What do you mean?”

“Mon die, do you remember a time… So long ago. Were you three or four? You got lost, and Audino was afraid you might have gotten hurt. As a little kid, you were crying before this pokemon bid you farewell” she kneeled before the pink pokemon and began stroking the soft fur beneath its chin “You found your trainer at last, didn’t you? Your Audino is so brave…”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she began retreating her whole team inside their pokeballs, including Audino. 

The furisode girl stood straight again and grinned at her widely, “Do you want to know another pokemon’s memory? I should say, memories never fade away!”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


1

She returned to Unova the next week, and the first face she saw was Cheren’s. 

She laughed as she ran towards him, jumping into his arms as they hugged. He was furiously blushing, coughing as he backed away from the rush of emotion. Hilda tapped his forehead with her index finger, “Did you break your glasses again?”

“No, I have been using contacts for a while now. They don’t get in the way like normal lenses do”  _ Right… Because he is a gym leader now. _

The brunette hummed in agreement, and asked the important question “Where is Bianca, though?”

Cheren blushed a darker shade. “She must be at your house already, your mom and Bianca decided to get food ready for when you arrived”

Her stomach growled on cue and she smiled, “Great. Because I’m starving”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They left Mistralton City after getting coffee in their systems, which Hilda was grateful about. Cheren was surprised given that she wasn’t a coffee person… But Kalos can change people. She shivered by the memory of getting lost in Lumiose City for more than two hours… And café’s lining up everywhere, one more ridiculous than the last one.

They barely spoke on the way, both because there was an awkward tension hanging between them, and the obvious reason was the winds swallowing every sound until they reached Nuvema Town. Hilda forgot how to breathe when the blue bricks of her house greeted her eyes.

When she walked inside, she was hit by one weeping women on each side. After both gave her their own version of an earful about leaving for so long, they sat down together to eat. She has never felt this happy in the last two years. 

Hilda cried, but the other three didn’t say a thing. Instead, they asked her about her journey and the places she visited. She kept them amused for the whole day.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I saw the news about Team Plasma coming back last month, and-“

“And you didn’t come” Cheren said sternly.

So, the donphan in the room was finally addressed.

“You would like to know that N appeared and saved the day. Probably you already knew this, as he must be around. If you leave now you might find him” he stood up, while Hilda’s mother rushed to leave the room in the excuse of doing the dishes. This was not a conversation she wanted to be part on.

“Cheren, I-“

He didn’t look at her, “Its fine. I do have a gym to run, so I need to take my leave anyway. I guess I will see you around” he started to walk away when Bianca grabbed him by the arm.

“Cheren, why?! We finally have Hilda after so long… Now we have each other again, why do you say those things?” he shrugged her off like her hands burned him and he kept walking towards the door “Cheren?!” the sound of the door shut made everyone flinch.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Cheren didn’t leave. He could have grown up, carried more responsibilities and was now taller than both girls but he never leaves. When Hilda follows him outside, his eyes are scanning the night sky while his Unfezant pecks the grass beside him. 

Of course he was waiting for her. No matter what, Cheren will always stay. For her? For himself? It didn’t matter. She strolled all the way and sat in the grass, petting the bird pokemon fondly and waited for him to speak.

“It’s my fault, I’m sorry I ruined your return”  _ No, it isn’t your fault  _ but Hilda knew he needed to vent. So she kept her mouth shut, “I met Nate, the new child that… saved Unova again. And he reminded me of you. But I also met his rival, and he reminded me a little bit of… Well, me. It was little tough watching yourself in a mirror and cringe” Hilda snorted, Cheren glared at her and she took this chance to hide behind Unfezant “He was restless, stubborn… And extremely intense. Unbearable so, sometimes”

She hummed in affirmation, and Cheren’s eyes warned her not to say a word. 

“Like any other rivals, they were on each other’s throat all the time competing on who is stronger, and who will be the champion. Then I remembered… You were the champion. And I could never reach you, because you left”

He took a deep breath and sat beside Hilda.

“I became a gym leader though, searching for my own strength and… Well, Bianca had her own thing going becoming the professor’s assistant. I felt a little lonely being so far from home, and suddenly being alone”

“Cheren, I’m so sorry. You are my best friend and-“

“Don’t say you won’t do it again, because we both know it’s a lie” he sighed, rubbing his eyes and stretching his legs on the grass. Unfezant began flying around above their heads, probably feeling restless (something it got from its trainer).

Hilda smiled, leaning her head on Cheren’s shoulder and loosening every muscle “I get it that things with Bianca didn’t work out either”

He tensed, but answered nonchalantly “No, they didn’t. She is a proud lesbian” they both snorted.

Cheren let out another long sigh before carefully standing up and helping Hilda on her feet.

“Go” he said, and he blushed terribly when Hilda hugged him and made them twirl around. Even more when she kissed his cheek, and this made her laugh louder than ever probably annoying the neighbors but they really couldn’t care less.

From inside the house, Bianca and her mom watched them with matching smiles beneath the window frame.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She met Nate and he screamed when a nine feet golem startled both him and his qwilfish-like friend. Hilda didn’t care about introductions, or the fact that she might have interrupted something.

“What the fuck?!” the new hero shouted, but his voice softened when recognition shone on his eyes “Oh fuck”

Hilda wanted to ask him if he kissed his mom with that mouth, but words were completely unnecessary when the ten feet dragon appeared before them voluntarily freeing itself from its pokeball. Reshiram cried out, trying to say something that no one really could understand. Except one.

She offered her hand to Nate, explaining her arrival and he listened to her completely stargazed. Beside them, qwilfish-guy groaned “Just go already”

Nate kissed him on his spiky hair, and the two heroes rode the white dragon towards Victory Road.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They exchanged farewells, Reshiram still midair as Hilda jumped towards the stone floor. The white dragon cried out a last time before disappearing. She still waved at them, even when both figures where but a spot in the night sky. Turning around, she finally spotted the pokemon. 

It watched her intently, and she felt her heart throbbing wildly. Because this meant that she was not too late.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Her steps echoed inside the ruins where a proud castle once stood. The marble beneath her feet gave out sounds that warned her of the floor giving out any second now, but she wouldn’t turn back around. Not even if the ceiling threatened to fall on her. 

Zoroark waiting for her, as she stared longingly at what she remembered was N’s room. She suddenly felt cold and shivered. The words of Anthea and Concordia rattled inside her skull, even louder when she passed the room where she met them.

If the memory girl back in Kalos were to read her now, she would say that this exact memory made her feel dread and sadness. Shrinking inside her jacket, she really wanted this to end. But before that happens, she has to…

She doesn’t know what she has to do.

Hilda just keeps walking behind the Zoroark, its eyes glinting bright even inside the dim lit place. Its paw something slashed away rubble out of their way before letting her through. Its blue eyes studied her with curiosity, and (if she had to guess) fear.

She kept going. 

But her feet stopped suddenly when the biggest arch was above her, leading to the throne room. Zoroak has already disappeared somewhere, not before pushing her towards that exact entrance. In that second, she grabbed at its red fur and it barked with apprehension. Softening its eyes, it licked Hilda at her nose before leaving her be.

She sighed, her muscles tense. She decided that she couldn’t do this alone, and let out one of her pokemon to keep close. Immediately, Audino rushed to hug her legs, sensing her heartbeat and noticing as her trainer kept twitching and worrying his lower lip.

The brunette patted her head, and entered the room finally.

Before her, 

…

Just in front of her,

…

She cried.

But without a single tear, she actually cried harsh and clear like a war cry and ran towards the king. With her fist, and afraid to bruise her palm with her own nails by how tight she was clenching it, she punched the man square on the side of his face.

Her breath was ragged as she watched him rub the sore spot, a thin smile spreading on his lips as his eyes finally… finally fell on her blue ones.

With a shattered voice, he said “Hello, Hilda”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She cried for real this time, tangling her arms around N’s torso and ruining his shirt with tears and snot. He played with her hair, afraid to do anything else. He didn’t even dare say anything with fear of hurting Hilda with empty words. 

The brunette felt grateful for this, because even if she knew N wanted to help her she also understood that his life always revolved around pokemon and well… Someone crying in your arms was something definitely new for him.

And someone calling him an idiot, or saying I hate you was also new to N, but somehow the king knew that Hilda’s words meant no harm. And no, it wasn’t because Hilda’s Audino told him this (even if it helped the cause, of course). Somehow, he just knew.

After a while they ended sitting on the floor, with Hilda now on the crook of N’s neck. He shivered by the cold feel of Hilda’s tears but didn’t pry her away. He had no wish to do so, and he also had no strength to fight. Instead, his arms just pulled her closer.

Hilda blew her nose on her own sleeve, her eyes red and a little swollen but N looked at her like she was the world between his arms. She snorted, ignoring how gross it must have sounded like and rested her head on N’s chest. 

“I don’t hate you” she whispered.

“I know”

“I missed you”

“I know”

“…”

“…”

A soft paw rested on Hilda’s forehead, and the pokemon squeaked at her probably looking for anything that hurt or a fever. Hilda smiled at it, and Audino tilted its head “Is okay, A. I’m fine”

The pink pokemon smiled and seemed to cheer up, tapping its pokeball and returning inside willingly. N hummed in thought, his fingers currently tangled in Hilda’s hair.

“Hey N” her voice sounded strained, she noted. But she still felt like saying this.

His fingers stopped moving but he didn’t feel the silence. He just waited.

Hilda took a deep breath, her nose hitting N’s collarbones and she whispered against his skin with each word making him shiver “What will happen to us?”

“Well,” he finally said, again braiding Hilda’s long hair. She wanted to ask him where he learned to, because he has gotten far and the braid looked amazingly neat as she side eyed it “I want to get to know you, Hilda. The real you, not the hero or the person your pokemon tells me about. I want to meet to”

She smiled, and nodded in affirmation. Maybe she will have the chance to learn how to braid, then. But a thought interrupted her mirth. She left the comfort of N’s chest but didn’t meet his eyes “N, I think I love you…” she felt her face burning, waiting for N to laugh or something. Call her nuts, because she is overseeing things. And looking for him these two years was insane because he didn’t even ask her to in the first place-

“I love you, Hilda” he said bluntly.

“H-How can you say that like… Like that? How do you sound so sure?” she finally met his eyes and regretted it immediately. A new shade of red settled on her skin.

He was smiling, one that reached his green eyes “I can’t be sure because I have never felt it. But given the way my body reacts whenever I think of you, and even now-“

She clasped her hands on his mouth mid-sentence and cried out “Shut up! Just shut up!” 

“Is something wrong?” he managed to say, although muffled by Hilda’s fingers still on his face.

The brunette shut her eyes and took a deep breath, “N, you need to know this… But, I’m… I’m trans”

Her heart dropped, and she swore she could hear it hitting the marble floor by the overwhelming silence that stretched around them. N didn’t say a single word, and this settled heavy in her bones. Obviously, he was regretting his decision to like her. Hell, even say he loved her. There was no way N, who lived with and for pokemon could emphasize with how she feels. Hell, he even was a  _ king _ so could he simply understand… 

She built courage to look at N and  _ Oh,  _ her hands were still covering his mouth. He pointed at them and silently pleaded her for the chance to speak. She peeled her fingers one by one, afraid of the outcome. He asked first, “Trans?”

Hilda felt a figurative brick falling on her head. This was another lever of embarrassment, and she really wanted to scream and run way. But she could have done that by never entering this room in the first place, so she had to watch this through until the very end even if it was a bitter one “As in,” she struggled to speak, her words stuck inside her throat and worsening by every second “I’m a transexual woman”

N didn’t say a thing, just looked at her and this unnerved her to the extreme. His green eyes were unreadable, and they were probably judging her and regretting everything.

“Say something?” she pleaded, dropping herself on the cold marble and away from N’s warmth.

He tilted his head, but everything else stayed the same as those piercing green eyes stared at her “Am I supposed to say something?”

“Um… Yes, given that you just said you loved me?”

She could feel sweat clinging on her forehead and drenching her bangs, but her eyes met those unfazed green ones “I’m sorry Hilda, I’m a little puzzled right now” his hand reached for Hilda’s and he whispered his next words carefully “Am expected to react some way? Does that mean my feelings are unrequired?”

“N, you don’t care? Do you even know what that means?”

“Transexuality?” she nodded, and he kept going “I do. I have met a few grunts that are. My sisters Anthea and Concordia provided them with everything they needed since my own father didn’t think much of it, now that I recall” Hilda sighed, and N seemed even more confused by the second “Is something the matter? Did I say something wrong?

She smiled and returned to her place between N’s arms “You didn’t. I just thought you would make a big deal out of it, like some people”

The brunette could feel his fingers back on her hair “Well, it is truth there are certain things I don’t understand myself. I will have to apologize for every time I will mess up, and probably say things wrong. But I want to learn, and as I said… I really want to get to know you, Hilda” she nuzzled his neck and smiled as he shivered once again.  _ He’s ticklish…. _ “Hilda, do you feel content with who you are?” 

“I do, N. I feel happy”

“Then that’s all I care about. And I do feel happy, too”

Hilda left the embrace and cupped his face, she was smiling widely and N jolted at the sudden motion. He melted later on while they kissed for the first time, though.

He would ask her to do it again, and she will punch him for being to blunt about it.

But they kissed again anyway.


End file.
